Dramatic thoughts

I spend a lot of time floating around in my head, poking at the past and peering into the future.  I get the feeling most people do.  I've always liked to wonder at how things went, how things came to be this way.  How did I get here and how could it have gone otherwise?

When I remember things, my memories are lucid, not flat images but select pieces of a complete experience. 

I learned in the past couple of years from various incidences that it is easier to leave than to be left.  I left Guatemala, but here, more than a month since my last night there, I find my chest hurts to think about the place too much, as it hurt to think about leaving while I was still there.

I remember that sometimes in Guatemala I was homesick.  Now here I am, Guatemalasick.

At the same time I am afraid to go back, indefinitely, because my family is here and I cannot live in both places.  I have to decide where I love more.

Uncle Tom's Cabin: Day 1

Weird.  Weird.  Weird.  But here I am.

Currently in southern Oregon, out in the relative boonies at my uncle's house.  Today he and his girlfriend took me up to Table Rock.  We went from green patch to green patch on top of the mesa hunting down invasive star thistle, watching the rain go down in the valley, and listening to thunder while it stayed dry and relatively warm up where we were.